No sex til after "Cold Case" damnit! A stabbing follows....

If your pants are too big you OF COURSE get  naked and cover yourself in Crisco. 

Thief swipes black stripes from bottom of pool. 

http://www.nbcolympics.com/photos/beach-volleyball/beach-volleyball-dancers-perform-at-horse-guards-parade.html

http://network.yardbarker.com/olympics/article_external/hottest_2012_olympians/11278582

By Jay Koot

Yes, Leryn Franco is at the 2012 Olympic Games in London.
That was her last night during the Parade of Nations, wearing the Paraguayan red
dress and showing off some insane cleav. Of course she’s in town to throw the
javelin, but that’s not the whole story. She’s property of Nike.

And Nike will get its money back via you dorks who’ll see Leryn wearing Nike
gear.

Take this photo of Leryn in her Olympic dorm room. Notice the pants. Simple
photo tweeted out and the next thing you know it’s in every “Greatest Photos of
Leryn Franco” gallery from now until 2014.

At 30, this is it for Franco. She’s the Anna Kournikova of the Games and it’s
fine with us.

*Franco won’t throw until the women’s qualifier on Tuesday, August 7. The
javelin finals are August 9. Set your DVRs accordingly.

[@LerynFranco]

 Courthouse Coffee Pot should be arrested. Yuck.

Robbers break into man's house....to steal his penis.

After smoking weed, a man shoots himself in  the hand.  Calls police, forgetting he's at his grow house.

If you wanna leave work early, THIS is not a good idea. 

If you're a man, what's worse?  Going  bald OR turning into a woman.  Huh?

If you have a pigeon problem in your town the BEST solution is to get the birds hammered on wine soaked  bread, right?!

 Guy pleasures himself in a 7-Eleven parking lot and decides the Coca-Cola delivery guy  is pretty cute.

A father gets "impaled" in the booty by a tow  hitch at an amusement park.  Ouch.

Teen gets in a fight with a mailbox.  The mailbox wins.

So bars in Minnesota wanna install pregnancy vending machines in the women's  restrooms.  LOTTA issues with this one.

It Happened in Flor-I-Duh:  Man steals a motorized scooter from Wal-Mart, gets a DWI,  AND is pulling his wheel chair bound friend with the scooter. 

Man beats up his buddy & fractures his  skull for bringing wrong beer to a party.

An argument over pork rinds can get ya stabbed in the neck.

An Otter attached a triathlete in a Minnesota lake while she  was swimming.  She suffered 25 BITES & had to have rabies shots.  

It Happened in Flor-I-Duh:  A man steals a dog, hides a kid  in a closet, and holds a spider for ransom.  Yes.  A spider.

America's Funniest Home Videos?  NOPE.  Just a dude with a toe/foot fetish in Wal-Mart.

If you have 10,000 rounds of ammo ya may not wanna store them beside  fireworks then fall asleep while smoking a cig.

The CEO of a Denver, CO software company is offering his employees a $7500 bonus to  go on vacation.  BUT...there's a catch. 

It's totally normal to let someone borrow  your car but NOT if ya met em at Hooter's.

What's the BEST wedding gift ever to give  your stepdaughter? A 7 foot statue of a wang, of course.

Drunk & looking for ammo at Wal-Mart 

"Toe-bisity" is a thing.  People are actually  having surgery on their feet because they think they have fat toes.   Seriously? WTH?

U.S. Olympic Soccer star Hope Solo recently told ESPN Magazine ALL kinds of down & dirty stuff that  athletes do in the Olympic Village.  From being drunk  at interviews to having orgies.