Quite the nasty It Happened in  Flor-I-Duh:  Intruder DEMANDS a haircut from a man that isn't a  barber.  No haircut=stabbing.

Man returns FIVE enema kits to CVS  store.  USED!

24 year old man cannot watch porn without  getting severe headaches.  The solution?  30 pain pills before porn.

Another chimp attack.  Scary, but the guy is  now in stable condition.  Woody thinks we should kill all the chimps.   Mel thinks people are idiots...